Call before you go over.

A bunch of those funds turn around and buy our agricultural products. Should be a fun year in the heartland.

Oooh let’s make this the new horse paste. Imagine all the conservatives basking in their rotten egg farts.

Keva Lagos from The Last Emperoux by John Scalzi. Brilliant, profane, and aggressively sex positive. She steals the attention from every page she’s on.

I had an issue with my urethra and was referred to the top urologist on the west coast for surgery. Of all the things that can go wrong with the urinary tract, about half his work was repairing mangled meat left over from attempted enlargement surgeries. Given the failure rate of biologically derived dongs, the fact that he spent half his time straightening out beefstick tartar was pretty incredible.

He did a great job on me, I can pee normally and fathered a rugrat, and fortunately I’ve always been happy with my love lizard. Except for the brief period after surgery where he pointed out that since he’d had to remove about an inch of urethra my first few erections would be “uncomfortable”. That face you are making reading that sentence is precisely right.

Peak iron chef was when they had some kind of rare lobster and one chef boiled ten pounds of them to make stock for a soup. Like $10,000 of lobster for a soup. It was bananas .

Think about attending the funerals if you need the closure but you’re under no obligation.

A November report from the Federal Salary Council, which advises on government pay, found that federal salaries were one-fourth lower than those in the private sector.

People take government jobs because the benefits are pretty good and the job security is second to none. Take that away and the workers will leave the market and never come back. DOGE is permanently disabling the organs of the federal government in real time in ways that are not possible to repair.

My wife was getting trigger point injections for chronic pain. The LPN giving her the injections into her pelvic area was a redheaded knockout. My wife groaned in pain, the nurse leaned in for a better angle, I put my coat on my lap.

I got my first blowjob while watching titanic. So, that.

It was me.

Same. A cold turkey social detox has left me much happier and I really don’t miss the constant agitation and engagement . I’m starting to read more too.

Well I hope he’s warm.

A minority of voters chose this. The majority chose another candidate or the couch.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have had to poop in a lot of places, so if it’s not totally scuzzy I’ll happily put down one of the free cowboy hats and go to town.

It’ll also dissolve the plastic . This is terrible advice .

No. We don’t do that here.

You can buy a big box of alcohol wipes for cheap. They’re great for cleaning small things like earbuds and the case.

Fine.

Ooooooooh I’m an idiot. Also the stall closest to the entrance is usually cleanest because fewer people use it.