As a kid our alley in back was where all the neighborhood kids played. We all decided it was race time. Most of us were on bikes but I happened to have my roller blades on.

Important detail is that there was a pretty steep slope from one end of the alley to the bottom before it leveled out halfway down. Of course we start at the top, everyone’s getting speed and I’m focused so I don’t get the wobbles. I’m actually ahead and it’s me a Jorge going neck and neck until I hit a rock at the bottom.

I tucked and rolled (apparently about 5 times) before I land on my back and slide for another 15 feet.

Maybe it was bad enough for the ER but in that day and with my family we treated it at home if it wasn’t a broken bone or head wound. So I laid belly down on the couch while my Pops picked gravel out of my back and blotted me with peroxide and anticeptic. Overall it wasn’t as bad as some of my brothers’ accidents but it looked pretty gnarly.

I could have won dammit

-Curly

-Onion Ring (isn’t really tater but I love them)

-Waffle

-Shoestring

-Sweet potato

-Zigzag (crinkle cut)

-Wedges

-Tots

Honestly though if im only stuck with the last three I won’t even eat them-

Will do sir.

• Sincerely, Poor bitch trying to fucking off even more for this poor guy for some reason.

We grew up on the frontier of the internet too. I miss it. I’m hoping this place is the last bastion but I’m learning it’s just not. Ahhh, the good ol days.

Damn, in hindsight, not understanding what my parents were going through raising us, and the friendships, hobbies, and innocence I had, I miss those days now.

Now I’m my parents and I understand why they were so stressed all the time.

It sat in the parking lot at work until my boyfriend/ex could come in his pickup.

Oh yeah, and it took 2 cooks and my ex to get it in the bed. To this day I have no idea how my patron got it over there in the first place.

State Fair was going on across the street from one of my old places and a vendor came in for his first meal of the day and a few beers. He realized too late that someone had picked his pocket on his way so he was literally $2.15 short on his bill.

It was tragic. He lost the thousands of dollars he’d made that day. I told him not to worry about it, I’d pay his bill. Obviously I made out great that night with the fair going on so karma dictated I do at least that much.

He said ok well when do get off? I told him I was here till bar close but not to worry about reimbursing me. He left. I assumed I’d never see him again but he did come back and asked me to come outside. I grab the bouncer to escort me out and he had one of these massive granite lawn ornaments. You know. The ones they half polish and engrave with your name or “Welcome” and you put them at on your porch or by your driveway. He tipped me a 300 lb of granite engraved with “Home Sweet Home” that usually runs you $600-1000.