If you’re a first responder or service member you get 50% off 2+ lines with T-Mobile. Even retired for service. I’m an EMT but they only check if your license is current. If this applies to you, you could just keep your license up to date even if you’re retired.

You can’t just say perchance

Idk. I’m an EMT with two semesters of community college under my belt lol. I was just googling and correlating things that I have no practical knowledge of

It’s called molecular gastronomy and it’s art, m’kay?

Alright so I got curious. For the non people-who-know-what-viscosity-is-measured-in people out there, viscosity is measured in centipoise, which is 1/100 poise. Water is 1 centipoise, hence why we use centipoise over poise. Don’t ask me any more than that because I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Lava is anywhere between 10,000 - 1,000,000 cP. According to this chart, there are many edible things that fall within that viscosity. Now lava is very hot, so if we’re going to simulate the experience of eating lava in a safe way with edible ingredients, we need something that is that viscous at high temperatures. This page (PDF warning) says that 140f (60c) is the highest temp food can be without burning you immediately.

There isn’t much on the above chart that is both edible and has its viscosity measured around those temps. The most promising one was chocolate, which is about 25,000 cP. But it doesn’t have a temperature listed. According to lived experience and my ass, melted chocolate has a pretty consistent viscosity at various temperatures, making it a suitable stand in for molten lava.

However, viscosity isn’t the end all be all of a lava eating experience. Lava is rocks and rocks are dense. Lava also looks like it would be sticky. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anything on the chart that matches the density of lava that is still edible (2600-2800 kg/m^3 for those who were curious). And there is also no unit of measurement for stickiness. But google tells me that some lava is sticky like peanut butter. So our edible lava needs to be considerably dense (thus, chewy) and sticky.

With these things in mind (viscosity, chewiness, and stickiness), I think the best edible stand ins for molten lava would be hot peanut butter (250,000 cP), with honorable mentions being rice pudding (10,000 cP @100C), and hot toothpaste (70,000 cP @40C). Color them bright orange and maybe throw in some Carolina reaper for authenticity and baby you’ve got some edible lava going

White man, slightly balanced out by neurodivergence and coming from generational poverty. Outside of that I have a very patient and supportive wife that I’m eternally grateful for. She’s the best

Would

Get this poor boy some decaf

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2022_United_States_infant_formula_shortage

Notice how theft, shoplifting, or resale aren’t present anywhere on that page. The media overstates claims of the prevalence of shoplifting all the time. The claims around shoplifting are bullshit

It’s what the Renaissance men would’ve wanted

Wikipedia says the term analingus was coined in the late 19th century and my cursory glance at google showed that there were explicit references to eating ass in early modern texts (~1500s). So tongue punching the fart box is at least as old as the Renaissance. Take the precautions you would normally take for butt stuff (disease free, recently bathed, haven’t pooped or eaten in 3+ hours, an enema if you’re fancy) and you should be just fine. Eating ass is fun and I will die on this hill

Happy birthday bones, hope you have a great day!

It’s degrees. Some may really enjoy parts of their masculinity and other may be really uncomfortable with parts of their masculinity. Some may have so much apathy toward their masculinity that they prefer to avoid the label of man because, though that may most adequately describe them from the outside, they have no desire to apply that label to themselves. The concept and performance of gender is a hodgepodge of various qualities that are complicated, often contradictory, and dependent on tons of external factors.

Those labels are there to assist people while they engage with the nuances of one of the most intrinsic and complex qualities of our subjective experiences in life. It’s messy, but it’s also beautiful that more people are inspecting their lives on such a fundamental level and practicing self determination.

Man is a perfectly fine label for many, but others may not have the same opinion about the term despite sharing similar feelings to OP and many of the people in this thread; and there’s something uniquely human about that which is worth exploring

You put the goat in the boat, huck the cabbage at the bear/wolf/worm, grab a slice of man cake, and cross the river

“word your comments better”

– the guy using slurs

🏴

Came across an unironic use of “momgoloid” in a paper from 1992 once

In the stripped club straight bunkin it. And by it… haha. I mean. My yingits.

Aw fuck yeah. That’s the brainrot I needed today. Thank you for that lol

I read that as brainrot Garfield and got disappointed