OP must really concern his mother if she poses such basic morality questions to check his response
Daily morality quiz, failure means deactivation
This is the opening of both Blade Runner movies
I think she was checking to see if he thought females probably deserved it. There’s a bunch of young dudes falling down that particular hole right now.
Omg. All men are evil.
No wonder they all kill themselves. Bet women don’t get asked questions like this by people that are meant to love them.
oh what if she blah blah blah
Yeah, still murder
Well, if she attacked him first it would be self-defense
Sure, but with only the given information, it’s a little weird to immediately go to “I wonder what she did.”
Not immediately no, but I like to at least entertain the most charitable explanation when so little information is given.
ok ok ok, i have a theory on where her head was at.
i think it might have been about current messaging around “stop teaching girls is their job to avoid being sexually assaulted and start teaching boys that it’s not ok to do”.
I think in all honestly part of the reason we ended up in this paradigm is because parents generally try to teach what they know. for the most part, in the past men weren’t really aware of how common rape was, or didn’t care. men probably didn’t see it as a thing to talk to their girls about. it was also something they likely had no relevant experience in teaching about. so men didn’t see it a important to teach anything about it to girls. and it didn’t seem likely to negatively affect their son… women on the other hand clearly saw the need to prepare young girls for this reality. so they teach what they know. what little that can do from their perspective with their power. moms default to imparting the defense mechanisms they have built to survive in this terrible state of affairs.
so, my thought is that this is a mother trying to teach her son not to be a predator. but she doesn’t even know what predators think to make them do that. she has no idea what to say that might make her son not do something that she doesn’t understand and doesn’t know if her son has or ever will feel those things. it’s a hard problem. it’s easy to say that we need to put the onus on men to not be predators, but how do we turn that into reality without sounding like this? what does a parent actually say to a young boy that will carry more weight than “don’t do that”.
I suspect you empathize with him and encourage him to empathize with people regardless of gender. Aiming to raise an adult who happens to be a man rather than a man who happens to be an adult. As well as teaching emotional regulation
again, easy to say, hard to do.
what does that actually look like moment to moment? what do people do differently between those that do and those that don’t succeed in this? how can you teach something you don’t know because no one taught you?
what does an empathy lesson look like?
it’s a hard problem and we really do need to figure out some specifics if we want to make any real progress.
