Last night I had a mild panic attack for no reason. I think it might have been induced by a mixture of beer and sugar, a combination I don’t do very often.
I’ve just come out of a long term relationship with someone I thought I would have kids with. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, but somehow that wasn’t enough for me and I wanted out. I still have no idea if I did the right thing, but at least we left as friends who care deeply for each other. The separation was slow and excrutiating but I think we’re both on the road to healing.
I used to think that if two people love each other, that was enough, but I’ve come to realize than I wanted more than just love, I wanted to feel less lonely in my head, and a severe language barrier was preventing that from happening. With time, we might have gotten there, but with time, I also may have grown to resent her, and so that’s why I ended it. I banked on my pessimism instead of my optimism.
Time heals all, and I guess we’ve just got to tread water until that time comes. Sorry for the word vomit above, your post apparently struck a chord with me
Heya man, thanks for sharing. I hope you’re doing okay. That sounds tough, and it’s a hard realisation that love isn’t always enough on its own - relationships take work outside of love, and that has certainly felt like a disheartening realisation for me. It feels the world is a little less magic now, but that’s okay - there are better things coming for us both, that we will be better equipped to handle correctly with what we’ve learned from this. Happy Monday!
Last night I had a mild panic attack for no reason. I think it might have been induced by a mixture of beer and sugar, a combination I don’t do very often.
I’ve just come out of a long term relationship with someone I thought I would have kids with. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, but somehow that wasn’t enough for me and I wanted out. I still have no idea if I did the right thing, but at least we left as friends who care deeply for each other. The separation was slow and excrutiating but I think we’re both on the road to healing.
I used to think that if two people love each other, that was enough, but I’ve come to realize than I wanted more than just love, I wanted to feel less lonely in my head, and a severe language barrier was preventing that from happening. With time, we might have gotten there, but with time, I also may have grown to resent her, and so that’s why I ended it. I banked on my pessimism instead of my optimism.
Time heals all, and I guess we’ve just got to tread water until that time comes. Sorry for the word vomit above, your post apparently struck a chord with me
Heya man, thanks for sharing. I hope you’re doing okay. That sounds tough, and it’s a hard realisation that love isn’t always enough on its own - relationships take work outside of love, and that has certainly felt like a disheartening realisation for me. It feels the world is a little less magic now, but that’s okay - there are better things coming for us both, that we will be better equipped to handle correctly with what we’ve learned from this. Happy Monday!
Thank you for these kind words, and I hope you heal too or at least find that magic again somewhere.