• FinishingDutch@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    The Olympic Village is packed with young, attractive athletes in peak physical shape. They are notorious fuckfests.

    Personally though, I say: ban condoms. Let’s see what freakishly fit and capable superhuman Olympic babies we can get out of it. There’s bound to be some future potential gold medallists that end up in a condom…

    • boonhet@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      There may have been a period in my late teens after I’d read an article about them running out of condoms where I wanted to become an elite athlete so I could go to the Olympics just for the fuckfests. Teenage me was obviously hoping to score with someone from the Brazilian volleyball team or something.

      Well now, despite having the genes for it (and no, this is not a joke; I have more genetic potential for athletic performance than at least 90% of the population, as does my entire family, which does include Olympic athletes), I never had the discipline. But then I found a woman who I’m crazy about and this has lasted slightly longer than an Olympic fuckfest, so I reckon I’m not missing out on all that much. Though I suppose an orgy with a bunch of super fit people is never going to be in the cards for me, but I’ll survive.

        • boonhet@lemm.ee
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          5 months ago

          I was like 16 and a virgin, loaded with way too much testosterone. I’m no longer an incel, but I’ll admit it was a fucked up mindset. But it’s pretty common in teenage boys I’m fairly sure. Why do you think Hollywood makes so many movies about teenagers trying to get laid?

          • Croquette@sh.itjust.works
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            5 months ago

            The issue is not the moment you lived, it’s how you wrote the whole thing. We know that teenagers are chock-full of hormones and sometime think and do weird things, but that is not the issue here.

      • spongebue@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        I have more genetic potential for athletic performance than at least 90% of the population

        Dude. Being better than 90% of the population means there are probably a couple people better than you in gym class. That ain’t getting you into the Olympics 🤣

      • sandbox@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        This comment fucking rules, dude. Very entertaining. Thanks for sharing. Ignore all the people saying you don’t have the makings of a varsity athlete.