• JayleneSlide@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I travel a lot for work. US Customs and the TSA are absolutely a sick joke. I could easily write a novella on the extremely poor training of TSA employees. I have a small permanent retainer (read: braces); about 25% of the time, that is considered suspicious, and I get an enhanced inspection. “Ya know, I could just open my mouth and show you what’s in there.”

    The TSA always determines that my juggling balls are suspicious, so I never pack them in carry-on anymore. I have NEXUS, yet I always get an enhanced inspection on return to the US. Literally every other country to which I have flown just waves me through, even before I got Pre-Check/NEXUS/Global Entry.

    My partner had her rigging knife in her backpack on a flight out and back. She was unpacking and found it in her backpack after the trip. Good catch, TSA.

    And the absolute frosting on the TSA shit sandwich: one of my close friends owns a private security firm. His company was approached by the TSA to assist in security audits at a major international airport. He and his team were contracted to “smuggle” fake firearms through TSA checkpoints, any way they could. The TSA repeatedly failed to detect the firearms for each of five audits. The TSA division (district? regional?) manager, frustrated at his group’s 100% failure rate, determined that my friend’s company must have specialized criminal training, and everyone who worked that contract were put on the no-fly list. It took him about 18 months to unfuck that mess for him and his employees.

    I had written a few more paragraphs about TSA hassles, but I think y’all get the picture.

    • TheRealKuni@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      The TSA division (district? regional?) manager, frustrated at his group’s 100% failure rate, determined that my friend’s company must have specialized criminal training, and everyone who worked that contract were put on the no-fly list.

      What in the fuck?

      • JayleneSlide@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        Oh, throughout the whole thing, he and his employees were treated like garbage. He would get through security, go directly to the person’s office, and reassemble the pistol in front of the manager. And then my friend (or one of his employees) would get interrogated for hours on unrelated questions, like it was somehow my friend’s fault that the TSA failed their audits.

      • JayleneSlide@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        If my juggling of balls catches your fancy, you might also be interested to know that I also smoke meat, play the flute, and churn butter. 😆

      • azimir@lemmy.ml
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        5 months ago

        I’ve carried a set of leather wrapped juggling balls on flights off and on since the 90’s. They used to make every X-ray reader twitch out. They’re about the right size for bad items (explosives, grenades), and I have three, not just one.

        Normally it would get a quick search, a moment of confusion, and then no worries.

        Once when going through the old airport in Berlin, I got searched at the second checkpoint, they brought out the balls to me, so I started juggling them and did a routine. It was really quiet so I was the only passenger in sight. That was the only time I’ve performed in front of an audience who was carrying machine guns.

    • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      the only surprising thing in this story is that no one got their genitals full on cupped and brushed.

      I’ve had 3 different TSA agents reach down the front of my pants and either full on grab my junk or very heavily brush the back of their hands over it (through underwear)

  • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    Isn’t TSA just a money-grab?

    With no actual oversight, requirements, or sanctions, that’s just transfer of public money to some random wage-slaves and private subcontractors (like for the all-so-special equipment they must have, as well as tons of gloves and lube they consume daily).

    Im sure AI could do racial profiling just as racially biased as them, and also fail at detecting any real threats. And Im sure I’ve seen some ‘cavity search’-like robots online that could be deployed.

  • billwashere@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I know this one… it’s because the TSA sucks and isn’t anything more than security theater.

    • SSTF@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      What’s surreal is being in a security line that is so backed up that the TSA on duty decide to tell people to keep their shoes on, and they open up the old fashioned metal detector to supplement the body scanner just to get people through faster.

      Straight up confirmation that none of what they do matters.

  • cmbabul@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I put a 5 inch blade in a bag I used for work that I totally forgot about, for 2 full years and flew all over the US without anyone calling me on it. I’m glad that TSA provides employment for so many people but they are in fact a joke

  • pewter@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    And yet I’ve had to throw out a whole bottle of St. Ives lotion. Which country is threatened by me having silky smooth skin?

  • isgleas@lemmy.ml
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    5 months ago

    I think they are quite consistent, as a foreigner, when I travel to the US I get the random inspection every.single.time

    /s

  • 3ntranced@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    A hypothetical version of myself may have worked in an International Airport as a security lead. That hypothetical version would have to pass through general passenger TSA and Border checkpoint dozens of times a day. They also may have always been carrying dab pens on him and his coworkers might have on several occasions just carried handguns through that they might have forgotten on their persons.

    Yeah Airports are to security as Ant traps are to an exterminator. Lotta smoke and mirrors. Most cameras are non functioning or just straight up not wired in the first place.

    • Lag@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Can confirm hypothetical dab pens. And joyrides in the electric carts next to the planes taking off.

  • VelvetStorm@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Just a few months ago, my wife and I went on vacation, and she had my mushroom hunting knife with like a 4 or 5-inch blade on it in her purse. The purse went through scanners and everything and no one said a fucking thing. Didn’t realize we had the knife until we were on the plane in the air, and she went to get gum out.

  • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    It is a mix of “American tourists who are to stupid to consult government service pages about their destination” and “TSA is all about perceived security, but not real security”.