• erp@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Browser: “Are you gonna order somethin’ kid!?” (all subsequent data streams to Google for future sale)

    User: “Uh yeah, give me, gimme a tab.”

    Browser: “A tab. I can’t give you a tab unless you order something!”

    User: “But I’m jonesin for some saccharin … not that newtra-schweddy or whatever it is”

    Biff Yaml enters; sits two spaces down, feeling sexagesimal: “What are you looking at, BUTTHEAD!?” (all of his comments are one line)

    Python Strickland enters: "User what are you doing? Four spaces are used for indentation. You got a real attitude problem, user; you’re a slacker! You remind me of your dunder father when he went here; he was a slacker, too! Quack quack. (his package is poorly managed)

    Linus Torvalds enters: heavy breathing … curses in Finnish (Älykääpiö!) … gits out

    IBM Selectric: “Hold my beer … and my ball”

    Obnoxious neighbor kid walks in (a real ascii): Invokes char(11)/VT; sits on the floor. His Mylar balloon flies away, hits a high voltage line, and the power goes out.

    Browser: “Well, looks like the milkshake machine’s broken.”

    Teletype Model 28 looks up from drinking coffee and reading the morning paper tape: “I would like to be … modified”

    Doc Mill (nee’ Rampazetto) enters: (shudders) “Momma bollocks!”

    During this time, Helium was on a noble mission and did not react.

    • Brem@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Somewhere… far in the future, a distant entity read this marvelously nonsensical opus & decided humanity wasn’t always completely hopeless.

      We have here with us, my fellow humans; a truly ‘Hoopy Frood’…if I’m allowed to quote Douglas without seeming rude.