Percury

Senus

Barth

Uars

Fupiter

Yaturn

Sranus

Beptune

Pretty sure you’re a Taurus. Tauruses do not believe in astrology. Source: I’m also a Tauraus

Mercury is like totally in Gatorade right now

in the moment of my birth, Barnum’s effect was in retrograde

“'This is the excellent foppery of the world, that,

when we are sick in fortune, often the surfeit

of our own behaviour, we make guilty of our

disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars; as

if we were villains on necessity; fools by

heavenly compulsion; knaves, thieves, and

treachers by spherical pre-dominance; drunkards,

liars, and adulterers by an enforc’d obedience of

planetary influence; and all that we are evil in,

by a divine thrusting on. An admirable evasion

of whore-master man, to lay his goatish

disposition to the charge of a star! My

father compounded with my mother under the

Dragon’s Tail, and my nativity was under Ursa

Major, so that it follows I am rough and

lecherous. Fut! I should have been that I am,

had the maidenliest star in the firmament

twinkled on my bastardizing.”

—EDMUND, KING LEAR, ACT I SCENE 2

Who. It’s who. Nominative, not objective. Compare and contrast:

• He, who smelt it, dealt it
• Him, whom the letter is for, sent to it was.

See? Easy: Only ever use “whom” when speaking like Yoda.

So the pull of the full moon affects the tides and we’re mostly water. What if the planets affect our health and not our moods in very subtle ways. I doubt it, but it’s a thought.