1 is when I have had to pee for the past 2 hours but have had a warm happy kitty on my lap that I didn’t want to disturb but now the situation is dire.

2 is every other time.

Meanwhile the void has one half on my lap and the other half on the arm of the sofa. He demands pettings and if he doesnt get them RIGHT NOW hes going to run his mouth along your hand so you can feel all of his teeth scrape by. And no you arent allowed to leave. You are the big fat’s property until further notice.

I consider myself very lucky to have a cat that’s #1 like 80% of the time. I don’t get very much done… but I’m lucky.

Mine just would just hop into my lap when she was cold. I miss playing red alert 2 with her in my lap.

My cat also has two lap settings. Morning brush? OK, I sit. Any other time? “Hell no I’m not sitting on you! You come down to the floor and pet me where you belong!”