Have you considered employment with HP’s printer division? They could really use someone like you.
I tried to print out their application, but for some reason my printer bricked itself after I bought some 3rd party ink.
Friend of mine said he tried inserting a third party cartridge and his HP printer pulled a gun on him.
I knew this guy whose HP printer shanked the delivery guy as he was delivering third party cartridges.
I went to the supply closet today and saw with my own two eyes 3 HP printers had our only Brother printer cornered. I backed away slowly and told no one.
You can’t just leave a Brother behind like that
I really didn’t want to but I’ve had run ins with that HP 5200 in the past and Betty is still covered in toner stains from when he/it dusted her. She was gently cleaning his roller when he suddenly exploded all over her face and hair. Milky white skin, blonde hair, both hands… totally covered in hot black toner… literally forced her to face clients the rest of the day covered in his letter batter. Sorry, not sorry.
My hp printer drank my beer
This was a plot in an iron man comic.
This was a plot in Repo! The Gentic Opera.
in reality the genie is like “man who needs a monkey paw when this guys around”
Twist: Payment is on the form of a text or other short note telling you something memorable they saw, a relative, a friend, a flower, a tree, a cat, a dog, the list goes on. The emotional impact of these notes cause you to weep. Your heart grows. You can’t stop crying. Dehydration sets in. That growth on your heart, it’s a tumor. You die. It looks like the Joker killed you. Genie always wins.
Genie always wins.
Not if you do like Timmy Turner did and use one of your wishes to get an attorney who will write up an airtight contract ensuring the genie can’t do any funny business with your wish.
Edit: also should mention that Norm the genie was voiced by Norm MacDonald
Genies don’t do monkey’s paw. They are literalists
In the 1994 Disney classic “Return of Jafar” the thief who finds genie Jafar wishes for treasure so Jafar transports him to a sunken pirate ship full of treasure where he nearly drowns and I think is almost eaten by a shark.
So your can twist literal. In this case I did the same. Lawyered.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone mention Return of Jafar. I watched that movie on VHS so many times
When you die:
That’s functionally how life works if you wear contacts, so 🤷
Or glasses. Or need eye drops. Or glaucoma medication. Or have literally anything other than unchanging 20/20 vision lmao. At least in the US
For only €20.20/m you too can have 20/20 vision.
Was he also blind? XD
Nestle already has that patent.
Becomes Elon Musk 20 years from now, when NeuroLink has actually become useful.
Congratulations, you turned into an elite old fart who can barely clear his bowels.
The Jin strikes again! The apex troll of the Arabic mysticism!
Look at the bright side, though, at least now I can put an end to Twitter once and for all.
Unfortunately Twitter was turned into a public utility 2 years prior, and it will forever exist.
Why does this make me think of Neuralink…
If vision isn’t free, then seeing isn’t believing!
Elon? That’s you?
Sounds like a win/win to me.
Wouldn’t it be easier to just wish for money?
Easier, yes. But nowhere near as much fun.
But then you wouldn’t get the full billionaire experience
“Is it really making money if nobody gets fucked over?”
