This is really a monumental societal change.

3rd spaces are nearly completely destroyed, and online seems to be the main option for ppl now.

  • Cowbee [he/they]@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    35
    ·
    edit-2
    1 day ago

    Feel kinda lucky to have met my partner IRL now (though obviously that doesn’t make my relationship any better than those that meet online). It’s horribly depressing how reliant on online communities we’ve become, and how social gathering spaces and third places are eroding.

    • Eq0@literature.cafe
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      1 day ago

      An additional hot take: online communities create weaker links than in-person communities. hear me out please

      Not because the connections themselves are less strong, but because they don’t tie to any other connection. If I met someone in real life, chances are high they are going to meet my family and create connections with them too. On the other hand, if I met someone online, they would most likely not meet my partner and definitely not meet my broader family. What in real life could be a merging of social groups, and therefore a strengthening of everyone’s social nets becomes online the creation of a single link, that is therefore that much easier to break off.

    • Dessalines@lemmy.mlOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      edit-2
      1 day ago

      There’s a few star trek episodes where they deal with characters who become addicted to either holodecks/holosuites, or games, but I guess it being a space-socialist-utopia of sorts, they give people enough 3rd spaces and community gatherings, so that its rare to find people who completely retreat from real life, and usually a sign of some mental affliction or trauma.

      At least right now, I don’t see the US recovering from this… 3rd spaces might pop up here and there, but they’ll be increasingly rare, and against the trend of overall social isolation.

      • Maeve@kbin.earth
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        18 hours ago

        When I was in college, the local indie tea/coffee shop was really nice. But then staryucks moved in a block or so over and they tanked. The nearest indie coffee shop recently was about 30? miles away and run by immigrants. There’s no public transit, so I have no idea if they’re still open, but I suspect not, since our local population is all but non-existent, now.

          • Maeve@kbin.earth
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            3 hours ago

            I’ve been looking at nearish rentals, closer to civilization, today. I’m not kidding when I say the least expensive is a $1200 loft with ladder entry, bed space only, within a 60 mi. radius. So the rough is equal, but applied differently

      • Cowbee [he/they]@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        1 day ago

        Yea, this isn’t something I can see getting fixed under capitalism. I still hope that as imperialism crumbles and the treats slow down the US empire will have a revolution, but that’s not in the immediate future it seems.

        • Maeve@kbin.earth
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          18 hours ago

          Mfw people start romance in revo.

          On a positive note, after my last (patriarchal adhering) ex and I split up, several of my sisters around me started splitting up with their own. With the exception of one, we’re still single. It’s just not worth the bangmaid therapist and other abusive, exploitative crap that goes with.

    • FiveMacs@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      1 day ago

      right… I can’t meet anyone for the life of me and be damned if I give a rats ass about even attempting to meet someone online. it’s a ceaspool of distrust, lies and fake garbage online. not a good way to meet anyone tbh…

        • FiveMacs@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          22 hours ago

          I just want somewhere that I can put my personal wall down again. that won’t happen on the internet where I won’t ever know the recipient in a trustworthy way.

          • Cowbee [he/they]@lemmy.ml
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            7
            ·
            22 hours ago

            That’s fair! I’ve found organizing work to be a good way to connect with people IRL, maybe do something similar? A hobbyist group, maybe?

            • FiveMacs@lemmy.ca
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              18 hours ago

              I think I should volunteer… I’m only happy when doing for others. I always disregard myself and when there’s no others, I suffer.

              thank you.