I agree much of this comes down to parenting. I’m right with you on the passive parenting. It’s introducing unnecessary problems upon the child and society.

That said random kids we see could also have learning disabilities that aren’t apparent at first.

My nephew is on autistic spectrum and does tantrums at 12 all because plans change (part of life but he’s still struggling with that despite consistency). He doesn’t appear at first as any different from any teenager until he’s triggered. It’s not appropriate. We always remind him to speak respectfully. He has a younger sister who is way more adjusted by comparison (has normal tween struggles) but she’s not as neurodivergent. Basic parenting advice on behavior is working for her.

Though it can be a struggle to talk a child out of this when it’s beyond just understanding. Learning to cope is just taking longer for this teen. Possibly aging into medication and long term therapy. It took that for my other niece on a different spectrum who’s still finding the right medication and adjusting.

Just something to consider when judging random ppl.