Right, and if their child does only occasionally act out (as literally all children do at least a few times in their life), they might assume a commenter is that one guy who is overly put out over a minor social infraction, because just like you’re picturing the stand-out moments you’ve seen when it was bad, so are they. But their stand-out has been someone confronting you because your* eldest started stacking boxes in the aisle whilst you were tending to the baby for 30 seconds.
We’re all thinking of our own extremes and are kinda talking past each other. It seems that, unlike some conversations lately, everyone is kinda right, but it also seems that we need more empathy towards the fact that raising young children has been more societally difficult lately, and kids need less hostility to become emotionally healthy adults.
Thing is, I’ve never shown any hostility and I don’t see how agreeing with “it’s not my problem though” suggests I do. However someone ranting starting with “fuck off” makes me think they suck as a parent.
I show my empathy by putting up with kids everywhere I go. Parents can show their empathy by literally just not ignoring bad behavior. Which in other comments I clarified is the only thing I actually have issues with. The entire store should not be filled with shrill screams while the parent flat out ignores it for 10 minutes. Not too much to ask.
You’re reacting to the worst parenting you’ve seen in public, but they’re thinking of the worst experiences they’ve had, too – which was people overreacting to relatively small transgressions.
Everyone is talking about a completely different set of people than who they’re talking to. Both of those different sets of people are terrible: the parents who haven’t even tried to teach their children, and also the people who overreact when a child steps out of bounds. You are neither of these, and it looks like neither is your interlocutor.
I don’t know. I got your point, I’m just asserting I don’t think I gave reason for judgment (at least initially , and neither did the person she attacked) whereas that commenter came in swinging and therefore gave every reason
That’s fair. People who are actively trying to parent will naturally be a bit more defensive, tbf. They may have encountered that guy more than once just today. It’s likely to be less raw a subject for the rest of us, honestly.
Right, and if their child does only occasionally act out (as literally all children do at least a few times in their life), they might assume a commenter is that one guy who is overly put out over a minor social infraction, because just like you’re picturing the stand-out moments you’ve seen when it was bad, so are they. But their stand-out has been someone confronting you because your* eldest started stacking boxes in the aisle whilst you were tending to the baby for 30 seconds.
We’re all thinking of our own extremes and are kinda talking past each other. It seems that, unlike some conversations lately, everyone is kinda right, but it also seems that we need more empathy towards the fact that raising young children has been more societally difficult lately, and kids need less hostility to become emotionally healthy adults.
Thing is, I’ve never shown any hostility and I don’t see how agreeing with “it’s not my problem though” suggests I do. However someone ranting starting with “fuck off” makes me think they suck as a parent.
I show my empathy by putting up with kids everywhere I go. Parents can show their empathy by literally just not ignoring bad behavior. Which in other comments I clarified is the only thing I actually have issues with. The entire store should not be filled with shrill screams while the parent flat out ignores it for 10 minutes. Not too much to ask.
Right, you haven’t. That’s my point.
You’re reacting to the worst parenting you’ve seen in public, but they’re thinking of the worst experiences they’ve had, too – which was people overreacting to relatively small transgressions.
Everyone is talking about a completely different set of people than who they’re talking to. Both of those different sets of people are terrible: the parents who haven’t even tried to teach their children, and also the people who overreact when a child steps out of bounds. You are neither of these, and it looks like neither is your interlocutor.
I don’t know. I got your point, I’m just asserting I don’t think I gave reason for judgment (at least initially , and neither did the person she attacked) whereas that commenter came in swinging and therefore gave every reason
That’s fair. People who are actively trying to parent will naturally be a bit more defensive, tbf. They may have encountered that guy more than once just today. It’s likely to be less raw a subject for the rest of us, honestly.