I’ve just had a bad relationship with food forever
For the first 15 years of my life, I have to give my mom credit, she did a lot better than most moms. She believed in cooking and greens on every plate. She was a horrible cook and most stuff was frozen and bad quality but at least she tried.
But from around 16 to 40, I just ate like trash. But by that point my alcoholism was already in the swing and my priority was booze, not really eating well.
Once I sobered up, there was five straight years where I would just ignore my hunger signals until I had a freak out and then I would eat like seven “family” bags of chips. Those were like 700 g, and they don’t sell them anymore lol
My relationship with food got better when I went to attachment therapy. The therapy really didn’t address the food issues, that was sort of a wonderful side effect of the mental healing
Then what happened is I taught myself to cook from scratch, and I ended up losing 130 lb. I had only planned on losing 40, the rest was kind of an accident and I also got fit by accident
I enjoyed for about four straight years, a totally normal relationship with food where I could eat when I wanted and my body would clearly signal to me what it needed and I would listen to it
Now in the last couple years, something is creeping back where I ignore the hunger signals and I freak out. I’m still very fit and I’m not obese anymore, but I can totally see my food patterns reverting to early post-sobriety. If you looked at me you would think I was a fitness professional, but now my food scheduleing life is verrrry poor
Part of that is because being fit and muscular makes it so that you actually have to eat so much it becomes an exhausting task. Needing to eat 4,000 calories a day just to stay alive is actually a daunting task when it’s not fast food that passes straight through you
I’m struggling with wanting to lose some muscle, and get back to some form of normalcy where I only have to eat two or 2,400 calories a day
I actually don’t really know what’s going on right now, I know I have to stop ignoring my hunger signals, and I know I have to eat. But knowing is useless because it’s all emotional at the end of the day
I’m kind of in a shitty place right now but things are actually okay in the grand scheme
I’ve just had a bad relationship with food forever
For the first 15 years of my life, I have to give my mom credit, she did a lot better than most moms. She believed in cooking and greens on every plate. She was a horrible cook and most stuff was frozen and bad quality but at least she tried.
But from around 16 to 40, I just ate like trash. But by that point my alcoholism was already in the swing and my priority was booze, not really eating well.
Once I sobered up, there was five straight years where I would just ignore my hunger signals until I had a freak out and then I would eat like seven “family” bags of chips. Those were like 700 g, and they don’t sell them anymore lol
My relationship with food got better when I went to attachment therapy. The therapy really didn’t address the food issues, that was sort of a wonderful side effect of the mental healing
Then what happened is I taught myself to cook from scratch, and I ended up losing 130 lb. I had only planned on losing 40, the rest was kind of an accident and I also got fit by accident
I enjoyed for about four straight years, a totally normal relationship with food where I could eat when I wanted and my body would clearly signal to me what it needed and I would listen to it
Now in the last couple years, something is creeping back where I ignore the hunger signals and I freak out. I’m still very fit and I’m not obese anymore, but I can totally see my food patterns reverting to early post-sobriety. If you looked at me you would think I was a fitness professional, but now my food scheduleing life is verrrry poor
Part of that is because being fit and muscular makes it so that you actually have to eat so much it becomes an exhausting task. Needing to eat 4,000 calories a day just to stay alive is actually a daunting task when it’s not fast food that passes straight through you
I’m struggling with wanting to lose some muscle, and get back to some form of normalcy where I only have to eat two or 2,400 calories a day
I actually don’t really know what’s going on right now, I know I have to stop ignoring my hunger signals, and I know I have to eat. But knowing is useless because it’s all emotional at the end of the day
I’m kind of in a shitty place right now but things are actually okay in the grand scheme