The people. Family, their friends, the church people, the religious school people. Everyone. Toxic. And it took me far too long to figure out how wrong it all was and how so much judgement and hate and shame and guilt and manipulation was not normal.
None of my community raised an effective adult. But they sure tried to raise an indoctrinated subservient guilt-riddled sack of shit.
Fuck religion and fuck people who pressure it on others, especially children, and so many of them use it all as an excuse to cover the fact they are ultimately just shitty people.
Thanks to them I feel like 2 decades of my life were stolen from me and I had to relearn and grow up a lot in my 20s to get out of it.
Sure is interesting in religion how there’s a neverending amount of pointing at YOUR need to change, but none of those pointing ever seem to change or improve as humans.
The meanest people I have ever known were church people. My dad left us when I was young, my mom was left a single parent. Seeking refuge in the church, we started attending regularly. In that time I felt things from others, ranging from genuine kindness all the way to pity. However, as things progressed and my mother became more involved with the church, the more people started to talk. From casual mentions, to annoyance that she would show up, to talking behind her back.
Was she super pleasant to be around? No, I think she can be awkward and has a hard time making friends - and those people picked up on that and ran with it. It wasn’t so long until she was excluded from certain events, that there were more “special” bible studies that she would her invite would be “forgotten”. She wanted so much to be included, but she didn’t fit their paradigm of… I don’t even know what.
Oh they preach of acceptance and forgiveness, of not judging, but they are some of the most hurtful people out there. I don’t know what I believe personally, but I’ll avoid going into a church for as long as I can.
Your story is all too common, and I saw a lot of this growing up. I was there as a child overhearing the comments about people. Seeing and hearing my parents and church and school leaders talking shit behind backs, amd being judgy as hell towards anyone and everyone.
Yes, God forbid you seem like a burden or “different” in any way. Their “acceptance” of you will come with a lot of caveats.
I’m glad for your sake and your life you are aware and see it for what it is. You’re better off.
This was the primary reason for me leaving the church, but I had begun my whole “deconstruction” journey years earlier. Between losing my belief and losing my religion, I was there to be a good influence on the true believers. I eventually realised it was useless to do so, that these people who I once considered friends were actually just horrible people. I’m embarrassed how long I really ignored some toxic beliefs and actions just because the people committing them were doing so “for sincerely held beliefs”. Trump and Covid were the real catalysts just because the way and the speed of their “mask off” transition made it obvious even to a socially inept person like me that they were just bad people.
The people. Family, their friends, the church people, the religious school people. Everyone. Toxic. And it took me far too long to figure out how wrong it all was and how so much judgement and hate and shame and guilt and manipulation was not normal.
None of my community raised an effective adult. But they sure tried to raise an indoctrinated subservient guilt-riddled sack of shit.
Fuck religion and fuck people who pressure it on others, especially children, and so many of them use it all as an excuse to cover the fact they are ultimately just shitty people.
Thanks to them I feel like 2 decades of my life were stolen from me and I had to relearn and grow up a lot in my 20s to get out of it.
Sure is interesting in religion how there’s a neverending amount of pointing at YOUR need to change, but none of those pointing ever seem to change or improve as humans.
The meanest people I have ever known were church people. My dad left us when I was young, my mom was left a single parent. Seeking refuge in the church, we started attending regularly. In that time I felt things from others, ranging from genuine kindness all the way to pity. However, as things progressed and my mother became more involved with the church, the more people started to talk. From casual mentions, to annoyance that she would show up, to talking behind her back.
Was she super pleasant to be around? No, I think she can be awkward and has a hard time making friends - and those people picked up on that and ran with it. It wasn’t so long until she was excluded from certain events, that there were more “special” bible studies that she would her invite would be “forgotten”. She wanted so much to be included, but she didn’t fit their paradigm of… I don’t even know what.
Oh they preach of acceptance and forgiveness, of not judging, but they are some of the most hurtful people out there. I don’t know what I believe personally, but I’ll avoid going into a church for as long as I can.
Your story is all too common, and I saw a lot of this growing up. I was there as a child overhearing the comments about people. Seeing and hearing my parents and church and school leaders talking shit behind backs, amd being judgy as hell towards anyone and everyone.
Yes, God forbid you seem like a burden or “different” in any way. Their “acceptance” of you will come with a lot of caveats.
I’m glad for your sake and your life you are aware and see it for what it is. You’re better off.
This was the primary reason for me leaving the church, but I had begun my whole “deconstruction” journey years earlier. Between losing my belief and losing my religion, I was there to be a good influence on the true believers. I eventually realised it was useless to do so, that these people who I once considered friends were actually just horrible people. I’m embarrassed how long I really ignored some toxic beliefs and actions just because the people committing them were doing so “for sincerely held beliefs”. Trump and Covid were the real catalysts just because the way and the speed of their “mask off” transition made it obvious even to a socially inept person like me that they were just bad people.