I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.

I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.

These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.

As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.

I’ve tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering… is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?

  • Aceticon@lemmy.world
    1·
    2 years ago

    It’s do with living in the moment vs spending your time thinking about what you did or worrying about what the future might bring, IMHO.

    We become way more prone to spend our time doing things like thinking about stuff we did (and how we miss it if it was good or could’ve done it better if it was bad) and worrying about what the future can bring (and not necessarily in grand terms: somethingas simple as “I have to get a haircut” which then goes one to “when will I have the time”, then “but I need that time for X” and so on) as we grow older.

    You absolutelly can still have some moments of wonder (for things as simple as how a cobweb looks with droplets of morning mist on it) but you need to be present there in mind also, not just in body, and not to not let some memory or concern rush in to take your mental attention away from the now.

    I had a point in my life with a ton of anxiety and ended up learning Mindfulness (which is simply to try and not say anything to yourself in your mind, which is surprisingly hard to do for more than a few seconds) to stop the feeling (if you’re not constantly looking back to something bad or fearing for something bad in the future you don’t feel anxious about those things) and as a side effect I ended up with the habit of being more often present in the moment and that’s how you just enjoy little wonders when you come across them.

    Still, it’s nowhere at the level one has as a kid.

  • Aloeofthevera@lemmy.world
    1·
    2 years ago

    Fully recommend the psychedelics BUT it’s not for everyone.

    Practice mindfulness through meditation.

    Psychedelics do what that does but does so through explosive force, lol.

    Mindfulness is so fundamentally critical to feeling alive again. That breeze still exists. The sound of the cicadas buzzing away is still there. The scent of rain still permeates.

    Meditation isn’t going “ohmmmmm🧘”. It’s a practice of clearing your mind, and living through your senses. Discerning your existence through means other than thought.

    When you were a kid, you didn’t have the capacity to only think like you do now. You were jumping between thought and raw sensory analysis. You were both free and grounded through your senses.

    It’s about finding a balance that as a kid you couldn’t obtain, and that as an adult you have forsaken.

    Good luck friend. Just know that you can get back to that.

    Edit: I’d like to add that you practice until it’s second nature, and you become much more aware as a result. You won’t need to stop to smell those roses - they will grab your attention.

    • vd1n@lemmy.ml
      1·
      2 years ago

      Or mushrooms.

      Ops not joking. It literally allows your brain to create new pathways instead of being stuck with the same boring bullshit that repeats in daily life.

      Just make sure you dose right and teach yourself in a proper way instead of taking what some friend hands you to “tRiP bAlLzzz, mannn”. Treat it like medicine.

  • gmate8@lemmy.ml
    01·
    2 years ago

    I think I get it what you mean… you are feeling like you are watching a tv show in your perspective, like you are not the one who acts, you are just watching? One of my friemds had a similar experience, please tell me if I understand it the wrong way.