The perfect gift for that 1 family member you just absolutely can’t stand being I the same house with

Are you insane? I’ll assume it’s a sphere, thank you very much

Shut the fuck up Mario, Luigi is hot! You’re the ugly one here!

“No I don’t have a doctorate, I just do it for the sport”

No but I get that a lot

That’s about 60% more than expected

dies of old age at 32

Idk, literally the whole reason we’re looking at space rocks under a microscope is to see if there’s microbes from other planets. Those would literally be aliens. It’s one of the strongest arguments against sending humans to Mars, because we’re trying find evidence that life existed or not, and bringing bacteria to Mars would fuck it all up

There are states with populations higher than 30 million. Like yea that’s a lot of people, but the cherry picking of states is annoying

Ignoring Sadam, it always fucks me up that my arm bones cross. Like wtf whyyy

Then I’m wanted in 138 countries (for crimes unrelated)

2 (I don’t normally but I am now >:)

Jon fucked the succubus

Omg those paws 😍

It’s actually just for support, they’re pretty heavy

It’s easier than explaining sometimes

If I ever decide to have kids then I’m adopting because I can’t in good conscience bring a life into this shitty world

It’s a bit extreme, I just need one straight through my temples

It’s smart until I instinctually scroll to the U section only to not find United States

We all came from fish, why can’t whales return to fish?