Today, during IGN Live, we got our first real look at the Borderlands movie, and folks, I’m not sure this is going to be very good.
Based on the popular looter shooters developed by Gearbox and published by 2K Games, Borderlands was first announced all the way back in 2020. The movie is being directed by Eli Roth and has been in production hell for years now. But finally, our long national nightmare is almost over as Borderlands arrives in theaters on August 9. Sadly, I’m not sure its going to be worth the wait based on a scene released earlier today during IGN Live’s Day 1 showcase.
In the new scene, we see Roland (Kevin Hart), Lilith (Cate Blanchett), Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt), Kireg (Florian Munteanu), and Claptrap (voice by Jack Black) in a dark underground facility filled with boxes and not many lights. It’s hard to see what’s happening.
This is supposed to be an action-packed sequence from a major motion picture, but it feels more like a pre-recorded skit from a so-so episode of Saturday Night Live. Enemies get shot and just fall down with no blood or gore, characters move around slowly even though this is meant to be a fast-paced sequence, and all of this is done to generic music that you’ll forget about the moment the scene ends.
The Bad:
No Marcus narration. How are they so out of touch with the source material to miss THAT one? And there’s like… five guns. And while I like all the actors, what the hell are they doing playing those characters? Claptrap already had a voice, and it sure wasn’t jack black. Poop jokes. They’d be fine if they were, you know, funny. But they weren’t. How do you fuck up a poop joke?? The absolute lack of a coherent timeline that follows the canon. How is Tiny Tina the most subdued performance in the whole trailer? WHERE THE HELL ARE LILITH’S TATTOOS? Why are the cars so… lame? Why is the part where the narration says “Weirdest and most dangerous world” playing over a shot of random boulders? Why is Roland being played by a comedian? Where the hell is Zer0? Mordecai? HANDSOME JACK? Chris Sabat isn’t listed on the cast so we’re not getting Mr. Torgue. There’s no vending machines. This fight is so rough it looks like I choreographed it. NO HAMMERLOCK.
The Good:
Florian Munteanu (Krieg) doesn’t have a shirt on.
The Bad Again:
This movie isn’t 1hr30min of Florian Munteanu not wearing a shirt and hitting things. Preferably in slow motion, and glistening. Maybe throw in some cute Pandorian animals, too. How cute must a baby skag be? I don’t know, but I want to find out the answer.
I mean come on you could do ANYTHING with this, a feature length movie just of Granny Flexington’s Story Corner would be lauded as one of the best troll moves in history. Sure, I’d go and throw a brick through Gearbox’s windows for that, but I’d make sure nobody was behind said window first. … Probably.
Both this clip and the first clip emphasize the same poop joke. And that’s a problem. Somehow they’ve managed to make poop jokes in Borderlands a problem.
And keep in mind this is the scene the producers and people involved thought was good enough to debut online. This is what they are selling the movie on. This is their big “Take a look at this and get excited!” clip. If that’s the case, well, I fear for the rest of the movie.
Sums it up pretty well. I’m just astounded by how awful this is going to be. This looks bad enough I’m not even going to hate watch it, just… just no.
Fairly certain this is supposed to be a Borderlands 1 movie so Jack will be in the sequel. Mordecai should’ve been in here, so should Brick. But there are loads of missing characters.
Regarding Claptrap: the voice actor from the first three games (counting Pre-Sequel) quit and was replaced in 3 and Wonderlands. But yeah the new guy could’ve been in instead of Jack Black.
Bottom line is this movie is not for the enjoyment of the Borderlands players, it’s more likely it’s made to get people to buy Borderlands 4 (and maybe try the older ones while they’re at it).
Yeah it’s relying in star power and the drooling masses to get money. It’s an awful awful attempt and it’s extremely apparent from the trailers that this is going to be hot fucking garbage. The only thing that would potentially save it, is if all this shit was promo trolling and the actual movie used completely different better suited people with better lines etc.
I always wished a Batman movie would do that. Imagine going into it and realizing you have no idea who Batman is. That would be fun.
It’d be fun to make it halfway through the movie to reveal Bruce Wayne is a worthless playboy, and have Barry Allen show up and explain to the current Batman “I’m here to correct a mistake. In my timeline, that drunkard over there is Batman.” “I’m sorry, what?”
but then you can’t promote george clooney in all the marketing to draw people in.
They didnt promote him in the last one. So it’s not too far fetched.
if all this shit was promo trolling
we can only hope
Realistically, celebrities get about 8 movies to perform in their career before my brain is unable to see them as some sort of new character. Kevin Harts comedy stopped carrying his horrible acting about 5 movies ago.
It depends on the actor. When you have an actor, like Gary Oldman for example, that really transform into its role, they can play in an infinite number of movies and they won’t get boring.
But actors, like The Rock or Kevin Hart, that just play themselves over and over again get tiring fast.
When you got movies like Tom Cruise in them, you can’t lose!
it was over as soon they casted kevin hart
Rated PG. It can work (The old Mortal Kombat movie), but this looks like crap.
The casting alone is a reason to be skeptical.
…they ruined Roland and Tina, JB, though I love him, is a terrible choice for Claptrap, not really butthurt about the lack of guns (are they supposed to just have a billion guns in every shot or something?), Curtis doesn’t give me Tanniss vibes either, though…man, why is Krieg so quiet? Fuck…
are they supposed to just have a billion guns in every shot or something?
Fucking. Yes.
I mean, not every shot, but the variety of firearms should absolutely be a big part of every action scene at least. It’s Borderlands, and that was it’s original claim to fame: countless combinations of procedurally generated guns.
Have your prop department whip them up as different parts that they can stick together, like how the games do it. Firing effects can be added in post.
Hollywood always fucks up movies based on games. I’m not expecting much from this movie.
I think we’re past this now, we’ve had a number of good (or at the very least enjoyable) adaptations now, Sonic, Mario, Pikachu. Werewolves Within was really good though no one has heard of the game. And of course TV has been knocking it out of the park, Last of Us, Fallout, Cyberpunk, Castlevania, League of Legends, hell I’d even throw in Twisted Metal. Even stuff about people who play games like Gran Turismo and Players were really good. We also have things that considered bad at the time are being reclaimed like Mortal Kombat
Borderlands is (by the looks of it) just an IP dump which isn’t exclusive to video games.
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Had a drunken discussion about this last month. Basically there’s less than 10 decent game adaptations ever. I remember the first mortal kombat, first 2 resident evils, tomb raider… A few others. But yeah.
Omg, haven’t been this hyped since the live action Dragon Ball movie.
Almost as hyped as the live action Avatar movie!
James Cameron really knows his stuff.
I remember hearing that some Hollywood contracts require that if you sign up for some studio, you must make X amount of films. Big stars get to chose those films to some degree, but once in a while, they have to do “a stinker” to end the contract as “X amount of films done, okay?” or something. Contractual Obligation and all. This film feels like a dumping ground of a lot of those contractual obligation hires from the trailer alone.
Wouldn’t it be smarter to do a lower budget drama, then? This seems like an expensive throwaway.
True, but a movie like this, if successful, has a much higher potential profit than a small drama. As an actor, why not take a bit of a gamble on a big blockbuster for a potentially massive paycheck?
Ah yes, the movie that’s lost all of its original writers and been in reshoots for many years.
Link to the trailer
Imagine making a Borderlands trailer and not using Cage the Elephant. Like, come on guy. It’s right there!
As someone who doesn’t really like the writing in Borderlands all that much, this trailer looks worse than that. Like, were Brick and Mordecai replaced with Krieg and Tina because they wanted to get “the fan favorites” in the crew?
The clip doesn’t make any sense. Cate Blanchett is shooting people standing up, then she’s suddenly inside of a box? When does she gets in the box, why is she suddenly in that box? She doesn’t get out of the box either. She’s teleported from there box to somewhere else. But now she has a flamethrower.
Hoo boy, Kevin Hart doesn’t even look like he knows how to hold a gun at all. Did nobody think to give him any semblance of weapons training?
that would involve having to talk to Kevin Hart
Original Doom movie’s getting a sequel? Idk at what stage they are, but it’s probably the best they have at the moment.
