It feels like no matter where I turn some septuagenarian, or older, is making life miserable for myself and others. Usually these are older white Christian conservatives, obsessed with a delusional sense of reality that no longer has a basis in fact, or perhaps never did.
There is a disproportionate amount of wealth concentrated in the older generation and those who will inherit it will probably be even worse with that money than the last generation. Certainly we see evidence of that already, anyone in their 30’s who has parents who help them out VS those who don’t have that have radically different outcomes. For some reason those lucky enough to come from good families ascribe laziness and bad attitude to those who don’t have the family support, as if they are somehow enjoying “self made success” while mummy does their laundry for them.
No generation previous needed this kind of assistance well into adulthood, but this infantilisation of working adults has happened because of the hoarding of wealth, refusing to pass on the torch in workplaces and just blocking change for the sake of stoking petty politics. Most of us will never own our own home but all the politicians want to talk about is whether it’s OK to dehumanise trans people or not.
I’m 36 this year. For most of my teens I thought there’d be some kind of tipping point where the conservative boomers would fuck off or at least let the next generation step in, but that hasn’t happened. Back in the 1990’s you could be a girl and wear jeans and be empowered, now this is considered some kind of woke statement. As if we recently invented this idea of women and men being equal.
The faces of my two dogs, my cat and my husband are all that keep me going. Knowing they need me gives me just enough to get out of bed in the morning and start moving… but I’m struggling to do even that without having a breakdown. My husband and I have medical expenses we can’t afford and are borrowing money to survive right now. I run my own business and just feel this immense pressure on my shoulders, that again is compounded by how unfair the world is right now.
Anyone got any advice for coping with this late stage capitalist hellscape?
Like many else suggests: Cut the media. The world doesn’t care if you follow it or not, and you’ll be much happier all the time.
Alternative, try to follow positive media. I created my own community for this purpose only, called /c/worldinprogress
Already doing this, that doesn’t stop my next door neighbour from being harassed by the old couple on the corner. It doesn’t stop my narcissist mother from coming to my door even when I tell her I’m going to call the cops. There are real problems beyond people’s perceptions and feelings from the news.
I feel like you’ve got some other issues going on that you aren’t letting any one in on. Statements like “neighbour from being harassed by the old couple” and “stop my narcissist mother from coming to my door even when I tell her I’m going to call the cops” are definitely not normal experiences. I don’t think you will find general answers to your original question until you first address these more specific problems head on.
I’ve been struggling with this too, but doing ok mostly. Here’s what works for me:
- Spend time with people who make me feel hope instead of despair. It sounds like you know some entitled assholes; don’t spend time with them if they don’t improve you.
- Focus on local. What is happening right around me? What can I do to make it better? How am I interacting with my immediate environment?
- Focus on what is improving. In many, many ways it’s better now that it has been at any time in human history. Women have more freedom and power now than they ever have. I can learn anything I want to, find out anything I want to, almost instantly. More people are aware of systemic oppression now than ever before, and more people are willing to resist it than ever before.
- Pick what to be mad about. There are too many things to be angry about, so I try to pick the ones that I think are the most worth it. For me, they are: wealth accumulation (we’ve come so far, and built such a great civilization, and we let a few rich fuckers loot it. It was a mistake! We tricked ourselves into thinking it was a good idea! But we’re realizing it’s not, and it’s fixable) and systemic racism in the US (Black infants in America being twice as likely to die before they reach a year old than white infants is UNACCEPTABLE). Yeah, there’s an infinite amount of other shitty stuff, but I’m only one person.
- Picking and choosing social media/other news sources that don’t send me into a doom spiral. I don’t go on Twitter. I don’t go on Reddit any more. I don’t have Lemmy on my phone (sorry Lemmy, nothing personal, but it’s a bad doomscrolling hole for me). I go on Discord and I read blogs I subscribe to.
I believe that a person can only handle three big things at a time, and everything else needs to take a back seat to those three. You have your business, your family, and your medical debt. Those are your three burdens. When one of them gets light enough, you can take on something else. Gender equality and entitled rich people and identity politics are not your burdens right now. They can take a back burner until other stuff gets better for you.
Good luck, it’s hard.
Thank you, some great advice and feels like affirmation I’ve taken the right first steps on my own, just need to keep at it!
Stop paying attention to the media and do something rewarding. Build stuff, draw, read books, learn to cook, play an instrument, raise chickens, start camping. Do anything other than dwell in your misery. The world will continue regardless of you watching it. If you think everything is terrible, you already know which side of politics is evil, so just vote against them when the the me comes and don’t bother following what’s happening. You can’t effect it and it will only drive you crazy. It’s all just a distraction feeding a dopamine addiction you’ll never be ready to let go of. Social media especially. Play some slick jams and do the dishes, it’s very therapeutic.
Well thats not true. You can volunteer, get involved in rallies and local elections, petition, protest. Those are great hobbies too ;)
Yeah I think I need to get more involved in my local progressive political groups… I can’t complain about the world sucking if I’m not committing to being part of the better change myself.
i have actually started reading books, watching actual shows/movies and playing more video games, instead of arguing with tankies online and watching shitty youtube videos.
While those are better than your alternative, they’re still sedentary activities that feed your dopamine addiction. Try doing things outside of screens and media. It will help.
If you want to hear your worries repeated again and again, hang around Lemmy
Can confirmydoodleydoo. My comment history is erratic as fuck. One post sends me into a rage and the next is so sweet and then Jesus fucking Christ look at these idiots then omg a cat.
I like to be informed, so, that “cut the news” thing, while it works for some people, it’s not for everyone.
Mindfulness was the thing that helped me to cope with current times. I believe our brains aren’t ready for this stream of information about the world, because our world used to be way smaller when it evolved, and its plasticity can only get so far. Be aware of your present, that’s your life, thinking about the past and the future only brings pain and anxiety. Learn to detach your self from your mind, or the part of your brain that lives thinking about the future. Know how to let go from the illusion that you have control of your life.
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Take stock of what is and what is not in your control. There are a lot of things in life that are unfair that are outside of our control.
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If the thing is in your control, take stock of what actions you can take to change the thing to better suit your desired outcomes.
This advice may seem trite, but it’s been repeated for generations because it is always like this in some capacity. Life will throw shit at you. Your job as a person seeking a happy healthy life is to learn how to react and respond. If it’s out of your control, you have to make the best of it. Even if it sucks.
There are people happily fighting cancer. There are happy paraplegics. There are happy people in Gaza (not many, but I guarantee there is someone finding the silver lining in a real hell scape).
Learn to accept the things you cannot control. Learn to act in the things that are within your control.
It’s all you got.
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I feel you. We have had the rug pulled out from under us so often we might as well lay on the floor. I wish I had some advice to give you, but I don’t. All I can say is I truly sympathize becuase I am going through the same thing. We are just going to have to hang in there, for better or worse.
My best advise is to stay away from social media.
Know that not everyone is like this, but it seems that the type of people you describe are the biggest shouters. There are people who have been fighting against climate change and ‘the establishment’ since the seventies or earlier, who do their best to always patiently continue to vote instead of giving up and not voting at all, who still join protests, discuss their views in the hopes of changing the perspectives of others. But they usually are just not the people who catch your eye. I’m a lot older than you, and i also still try to write to companies (sometimes even successfully change their product which is very encouraging), sign petitions, donate to certain causes, vote, answer questions when people ask for my opinion. I always was a bit of a rebel and i know of others who are too. I know that i am not alone in this. I was inspired by those lone rangers in the seventies who were already fighting against climate change, even though i don’t know their names. They were usually portrayed in the media as the exaggerating crazies or hippies. But i’m not ‘in your face’ about it and i will only discuss things when other people approach me and ask me something. This takes away some of the hostility of other people who tend to feel attacked when i do things differently than they do. I always knew that i was never alone in my views. I might not know most of them but i know they exist. They always have. It might feel like you are alone, but you never are. And i feel like i do have a certain influence on my own personal environment. It makes some people think about certain things. They might even change, if only a little. At the very least, they now know from personal experience a person like me and can use my existence in conversations about certain topics, just as i could use those anonymous strangers who were putting up a fight in the seventies.
Focus on today. Focus on what choices you can make.
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I hope not, but know either way that there ARE people who care about you.
Anyone got any advice for coping with this late stage capitalist hellscape?
Learn skills.
Money is worthless when you have to spend 4 hours to work to hire somebody to do in 1h what you yourself can do in 2. At this point the prizes of skilled labour rise as there is a huge shortage of skilled personel. Somehow society decided ther theoretical knowledge is more valuable then practical knowledge, but to me managers and the likes are overhead.
As example, in '10, when I was 38, my house needed painting for the 1st time. I got a quote of €4k (more then a month’s wage) and it would be done in 2-3 days. I decided to paint the house myself and it took me a week, cost me €400, gave me the chance to repair the windows and I learned some skills.
Same goes for car repairs, plumbing and I (male) even made our curtains with a sewing machine I bought. The only tasks I’m forced to hire people for now is medical, for me, my wife and our pets. When I hire somebody for other tasks, it’s because I don’t want to do the work. It’s a choice.
As it always has been, knowledge is power, which includes the knowledge/skills to be self supporting. Refuse to run the rat race, although in the US that’s a lot harder then over here in Europe.
Sorry that was 14 years ago. A penny saved isn’t earned, when it’s already owed elsewhere or you’re just not making enough pennies. If you don’t want to sound tone deaf, you’ll need to internalize that your 15 years on us, was enough to get ahead of this stage of collapse.
When I don’t have the cash for a paintjob, I shouldn’t have bought the house (Yep, home owner here). I make way enough cash to have somebody paint my house. However, when I hire somebody to paint the house, I can’t spend the cash on hobbies I like to do or improve the house the way I want to.
At the moment however, finding somebody that is willing to paint a house is a huge challenge. You just can’t find the personel anymore to paint. Everybody want to be overhead and manage, nobody want to work. There is a hude shortage of skilled labour at the moment, so I’m very glad I can do it myself, inclouing the needed wood repair. (buying new window sills will cost about 25% of the current value of the house and they are ugly as all you can get is plastic)
Thank you for the kind words of support! Some very helpful advice in most of these and actionable.
And to those questioning my lived experience, perhaps a bit of victim blaming too, while I open up and ask strangers for help… what the fuck is wrong with you lmao
People never want to confront how close they are to hardship, so if they hear about someone struggling they want it to be the result of that person’s actions, not just that the world is unfair. Just ignore them; they aren’t dealing with their own shit as healthily as you are.
Sounds to me like all your problems would go away with money. I wish I had a solution for you, sorry OP.
Pretty much! I’ve been sales prospecting since November but it’s just a baad time to be doing that in terms of time of year and the pinch on a lot of company budgets out there. Uncertainty everywhere makes people nervous and not want to spend money on new contractors offering advanced 3D visuals etc.
This was the worst Q4 I’ve had in 18 years of b2b sales. It’s not you. I think when people get back in the saddle, they’ll start buying late this month. Hang tight. We’re all struggling to survive. You’re so not alone. 2/3 of the US are a couple paychecks and an emergency away from a collapse from middle class to homelessness. It’s fucked up.
I feel the same but what help me is living in my reality, living with my gf, my apartment, set goal that I want to achieve (getting cast iron pan, dog in 2025, etc) and just focus on my own personal thing, and do my hobb(ies) without fail. Do not skip on your hobby.
Disconnect from news and social media as much as you can. And I don’t mean deactivate your account, just ignore and turn the notifications off.
I think this is the right answer. A lot of people say disconnect, but that’s only part of it. It’s more about refocusing on what you can control. We tend to focus on problems, so we can solve them. But current technology encourages us to focus on problems we can’t solve. Leaving most to feel doomed, trapped, anxious, and depressed.
Owning your own business and self employment are kind of not specifically designed to thrive in this kind of economy. Unless you and/or your business have a prospect being bought out by a competitor you might be burdening yourself with an unnecessary degree of stress.
It can be stressful to run your own business if your livelihood depends on it.
Now this depends heavily on what kind of business you run too and how much you enjoy it.
We’re a home studio that makes websites, software and digital media. I’ve thought about temporarily accepting a job but I fear that would just compromise my mental health to the point where I can’t work at all.
In Australia we IT people get paid about half what our USA colleagues make, our expertise is treated with revulsion, even though it’s critical, and people act like our neurodivergent/introvert personality types are a hindrance to a successful and productive work environment.
I love what I do, but I’d sooner stack supermarket shelves than go back to being some corrupt conservative dickheads golden ticket, again.
What is the public service sector like is AUS? In the US there is kind of a large void left from boomers retiring and gen X not working public sector. It is leaving a lot of vacancies in local governments across the country which are all traditionally pretty low pace, decently compensated, with pensions and benefits.
Where I am these jobs are promoting up to 90% teleworking capabilities as well. There is a whole generation of vacancies pretty much in the US and I wonder if AUS is similar at all.
Consider getting a job even if you don’t like it. You can always quit if it’s unbearable. The increase in income will help your financial struggles.
All IT people in Australia are defective?
